Sunday, November 11, 2007
Hock- a – loogie, Hock-a-loogie, Hock-a-loogie….that was the first sounds of the morning trying to get the bronchitus bug that was surrounded in green mucus to be propelled out of my lower abdomen with such force it would bypass the clogged sink, and somehow shoot strait through the drainhole unclogging my sink in the process. Wouldn’t that be nice.
Unfortunately, the only one who was affected from that torture was my raw throat and my friend Halie O’Ryan (a rocker chic from L.A.) who WAS fast asleep on the couch but woke up in a rude hurry in order to save the poor soul who was suffering from some ungodly condition that desperately required the Heimlich maneuver.
We managed to make it out of the house with all her luggage, in just one trip. Whew….good thing she only planned to stay for a day, I’d hate to see what she actually needs for a week. (She’s staying at her aunt’s house, and just planned a little sleepover so we could work on a project at my house.) At my car, it was the race it usually is….Hey, what idiot forgot to get gas? So we’re driving towards town on empty talking about music non-stop, while I’m dodging traffic hoping to drop Halie off at her house and get to my studio appointment on time. We share gross stories, and mine with the loogie halfway stuck in my throat and drooping down nearly touching the drain, wins. So she decides to attack me with peppermint oil that we got at Down to Earth. Don’t put that on ….let me emphasize the DON’T when I say, it BURNS when you sweat, and in todays weather….it WAS excruciatingly painful.
We still needed some other things she recommended for getting my throat ready to record later that day with MAXX FX…..one of the best dance hall reggae rappers ever….he used to tour with Ziggy Marley…and now, he was doing a song with me…I couldn’t let him down. No, I was going to be ready…no matter what. So, Halie made it her mission to make me a grocery list of her finest cures. Listerine and Hydrogen Peroxide were at the top. We got those at longs and couldn’t wait to dose ourselves in it. I gargled 8 times while illegally parked with a guy lounging in his car watching. Halie then proceeded to assist me by pouring hydrogen peroxide in my ears….which bubbled from all the bacteria in there. Ahhhhhh….feels really good if it doesn’t scare you to death.
After two large cups of different kinds of tea, with an entire lemon squeezed in it, 2 cups of OJ, 7 cough drops, prescription antibiotics and tussionex for a cough that by the way caused INTENSE drowsiness and a shot of olive oil….my voice still sounded like a door creaking. How sexy is that? How was I going to be a baby doll. I thought to myself…I don’t even want to be a baby doll – and now I sound like I’m going to break out of prison and kill the baby doll. This sucks.
Halie passes me the phone with those sad puppy dog eyes, and I finally break down and call MAXX. I honestly tell him….I don’t think I can record today because of the coughs – they were getting juicier by the hour. Halie’s hair was a mess because she refused to ride in the car and breathe the same air. So, I was contagious in addition to sounding like foghorn on jello. MAXX was set on recording, so we went down anyway. By that time, I couldn’t take Halie home…so she came with me. She agreed to stay out of trouble, and that if I ever needed to be silent I could say “wallpaper.” I smiled and didn’t believe her, but I was hoping she would if I needed her.
What a great place….a kickask studio in the middle of industry heaven, thrown in a couple of fast food eateries and a strip club to barely liven up this duller than dull grey blocky part of town. Ugly and lackluster, Sand Island is the perfect hiding spot for this ultimate sound studio. From appearance, it looks like someone’s home studio that went delux, but it’s got all the bells and whistles a larger more expensive studio would have and an engineer to match.
The first hour was ….interesting. That’s a word that always works when what you really want to say is not going to help a single soul, but might sink some ships in the process. Basically, my raspy, cough-laden mucus gurgling excuse for a voice was not cooperating. I ended up having to do the song line by line and hacking and drinking lots of water between each. Not my idea of a good recording….but the best I could do considering. MAXX’s hands covered his face during most of the recording. Meanwhile,. the engineer, Tim smiled through the glass like I was doing a great job. My friend Halie explained later what happened. She said, at one point, when things were looking really rough, Tim left the room, he was gone for about a minute, but when he came back, a patch of hair was missing from the left side of his head. Sorry Tim….I didn’t mean to stress you out like that. I like your hair.
The deal Halie made with me, earlier, didn’t seem to work….I mean, don’t get me wrong, she is a more experienced singer, she’s toured internationally and done huge concerts. She knows what she’s talking about….that isn’t the problem. She just had too much good advice to give when I couldn’t afford to listen. So, reluctantly I said, “Wallpaper” through the mic, and both Tim and Maxx look at me confused. Halie looked at me with that “but, but, but…I want to say 10,000 more things…. look. She can’t help herself. If she sees an injured bird, she will climb a tree in order to rescue it and will nurse it to health herself. She just couldn’t sit there and watch me butcher myself and the song. So, luckily, the peeps and squeaks she made during the recording will probably contribute to it becoming a hit. Her most valuable tips to me: ” Feel each word”, “breathe, don’t rush”, “smile”, “pronounce ‘alone’ like ‘a-l-own’.” Again, during recording, she was talking to the engineer and they were having a good ole time. I looked at the clock ticking and said, “wallpaper” in vain….it wasn’t working. After Maxx came in the studio and we waited for Tim and Haley to finish their conversation, I told Tim to tell Haley, “wallpaper”. She stood up with her hands in the air like there was a gun pointed at her and she didn’t do anything wrong….so I left the sound booth and pulled her outside to ask her to “shhh” with a whole bunch of little “shhhh’s” where that came from.
Halie was there to step in and do some backup vocals, too which was really cool. We finally finished the song…of course it took longer than we expected and we all lost some hair….unfortunately, the loogies were still all intact hanging tight. I was exhausted and hungry. Maxx, Halie and I went out to eat, later. The song was great, very catchy and MAXX was happy. He called Augie T as we headed to town and agreed to send him the MP3. What an amazing day. Maxx said later that he was testing me, to see how far I could push myself. He said, he got really worried when we first got there because he saw me fall asleep. (it was the drugs) but after we started rolling, he said he thought I did great. Cool, I love passing tests and rising to the expectations of people I admire….like MAXX and Halie, and now, my new friend Tim. Thanks guys for being so patient and supportive of me. 🙂 anjj